The Beginning

I was born in the early 70’s in North West London. Son to parents who were both optometrists, my father a University professor. I had an older sister and my recollections were of a strict but generally happy childhood. Some suggestions have been that I was pretty active (maybe I would have been diagnosed with ADHD in current medicine) but generally a normal kid.

The biggest factor in my childhood was the premature death of my father when I was 14. I remember parts of this time clearly but others are muddled. I do remember being sad but I’m not sure exactly how I grieved and how the relationship with my sister and mother was affected. I do think, although maybe these are skewed memories and perceptions that it was my sister that then really looked after me, not just for the weeks following but for years. My mother I think didn’t really cope well at all and withdrew into herself. Not out of malice but somehow unable to express the love and affection her children needed. Especially physical affection.

Following this tragedy and after a period of grieving, life returned to a new normal. Single parent family, school life and friends. I know my sister suffered far more than me, not only grieving, but taking on a carer role for me and then dealing with a diagnosis of cystic fibrosis. Which at that time was a very serious life shortening, life threatening disease. Fortunately significant improvements have been made some the mid 80s and my sisters health though not great is far better than we could ever have imagined 36 years ago