And all the rest

For over 10 years, my life has remained mainly stable. Yes, there were the normal ups and downs of family life but on reflection as I described on bipolar, and it was just that the oscillations were relatively mild. It’s increasing interesting to think now that the periods of hyperactivity that hypomania were incredibly productive. Whether it was arranging holidays or completing work projects, these periods were unquestionably positive and I felt good in control. Strangely related, there could be some downsides though. irritability and impatience, excess spending on unnecessary open brackets but justifiable in my mind, close bracket stuff. The lows during my stable period were fortunately not pronounced or severe, but definitely noticeable, particularly for my family. The familiar lack of energy for anything at home, putting tasks off excessive spending as sleeping and not exercising

And so to my current episode which started now well over a year ago, very similar to before with predominantly symptoms of depression.

But then as I’ve described escalation admission and hospital inpatient treatment this treatment included my greatest fear, not only the admission to hospital but also a CT.

Why, why the fear of AECT? Stigma improper media perception, betrayal and films, who knows? However, the fear was real. The difficulty was that despite my fear, I had so little fight left in me and was so catatonic that I was just compliant.

The advantages, however were it worked and worked quickly after only six sessions.

I think everybody was very surprised. And I seemed at that point well enough to get home.

However, immediately on getting home I caught COVID Which then put me in a position to to be isolating at home during a very vulnerable period.

Because till our last moment the future’s what we make it